BERTIE’S BOOK OF SPOOKY WONDERS by Ocelot Emerson

Just in time for Halloween, we have BERTIE’S BOOK OF SPOOKY WONDERS by Ocelot Emerson, a half-cat, half-person, who is also a screenwriter under another name. The book comes out October 15, 2019:

Twelve-year-old Bertie Blount is great at causing trouble. When she’s forced to leave behind her dad and friends in North Carolina so her mom can marry the most boring optometrist in the world, Bertie has a chance at a fresh start.

But when Bertie arrives in Pennsylvania, she doesn’t just bring trouble; she brings disaster. In a moment of anger, Bertie unwittingly triggers an accident that puts her future stepbrother in a coma.

Broken and desperate to make things right, Bertie prays for a miracle. Instead, the universe gives her a pair of supernatural sunglasses, a wise-cracking doppleganger, and a terrifying ghost that sends Bertie on a dangerous mission to find the one thing that just might save her stepbrother’s life.

Question One: How did you escape from the X Prison of Wayward Creatures?

Rats. In prison there are always a population of rats. And these rats know things. Now usually I eat rats. You might think that’s disgusting, but I’m a cat it’s what I do. Not to mention cats really aren’t concerned by what others think — like at all. That being said, back to the question. I made a deadly alliance with the rats. It was simple a deal — I’d stop eating them for breakfast, lunch and dinner and they would show me a secret escape route out of the secret prison. The rats drew me a map. My feline sense told me the map was actually a trap, however. So I ate the rat who drew it and asked the other rats if they would like to try again. They drew another map. And I knew in an instant this map was the real deal. This was my pathway to a new pathway in life. And even though I have nine lives, I was grateful. Filed with a hope I’d never known before. Even so, I ate the second rat on principal, and away I went from the sinister confines of the secret evil prison into the dark mystical woods. A doorway to brave new world. Or so I thought…

Question Two: BERTIE’S BOOK OF SPOOKY WONDERS, has both tragedy and comedy. How do you find balance between these two very diverse set of emotions when composing your work?

Stay with me on this answer, there’s a super important point I’m going to make.

We’re all two people, aren’t we (or in my case I’m half-cat/half person)?
Don’t you have a voice inside your head commenting on just about anything and everything you do?
It’s actually exhausting. The voice goes on and on, from inner arguments about what you should wear in the morning, or the inner debate over whether or not everyone is staring at that pimple on your cheek (they are), or the inner judgement about those awful shoes your friend is wearing (what is she thinking)!

But here’s the rub — we’re so used to this voice, we don’t even notice it. It’s 100% crazy.
No joke, ff people could actually hear our inner voice, nobody would want to be our friend. They’d think we’re nuts. Because, well, we are. The voice in our head is unrelenting and it is essentially more harsh to ourselves than it is the rest of the world.

Now comes the point: We are comedy. We are tragedy. So the stories we read and watch feel most authentic when they are both as well. As humans (or half-humans) we are comedy and tragedy on two legs (and hopefully good shoes) (or good paws). Here’s another point: My cat senses tell me that the more we quiet the nutjob voice in our heads, the more chill we are. The less we judge, and the more we let go, the more we purrrrrrrrrrr.

Oh, I looooooove to purr, baby.

Question Three: As a half animal, half human, it must be difficult to blend in. What do you wish more people knew about you?

I don’t blend. I shine. Big and bright. Blending is boring.
That being said, people usually think I’m in some sort’ve of costume.
But, as previously mentioned, I don’t give a rat’s behind what people think. It’s the beauty of being Oceloty. And lemme tell ya, it’s a thousand times better than being humany.

Question Four: What are some of your current projects?

Ocelot is also a screenwriter under another name. Cats have many different sides and each side digs privacy. I’ve written a diverse slate of stories from animation movies, to monster movies, to inspirational true movies. Right now, I’m meeting with several studios who want to turn Bertie’s Book of Spooky Wonders into a feature film or TV show.

Thanks for reading Bertie.
You’re a better person for it.
That’s a scientific fact. Spiritual one too.
No lie, everyone says you look like ten times more attractive right now.
FYI: Even when others adore you, you really don’t have to care.
Hold up, it’s not about being apathetic, beautiful person, it’s about being authentic.
When you’re authentic you’re naturally grateful (and draw people to you like moths to the flame. BURN, BABY, BURN!)
How fabulous are you?!!!!